Words of Wisdom
by JeanneAndHerAlters
Summary: Wisdom is the last thing you would expect to spout from Reno's mouth. Rated T for language, possible violence in the near future, and Elena.
1. Chapter 1

**Me: Reno spouting random words of wisdom.**

**Reno: Nehehehe MwahahahA!**

**Me: Don't sue me, I hate the court! Anyway saying the word Disclaimer basically means I don't own!**

**On Funerals**

Reno's head bobbed along to his music player. "My heart skips a beat when you walk in the room, I go boom boom boom, you go zoom zoom zoom , you're my playbo-" Reno was cut off when Tseng stormed into the office.

"RENO!"  
"I swear I didn't do it this time!" Reno defended what little honor he had.

"President ShinRa's funeral was today! Where were you?" the Turk Leader demanded.

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approve," Reno stated, turning his music player back on. Tseng stormed out, pissed that Reno managed to produce the smart phrases when least expected.

**On growing old**

Vincent glared at the red head sitting in front of him. "C'mon vampy smile! I mean the brat just passed out in the middle of trying to do a strip dance," Reno gestured to the passed out Yuffie. Vincent stayed silent. "Don't you ever laugh?"  
"I'm too old."  
"You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing," Reno tapped his fingers on the bar before taking another swig of his beer. Reno burst out laughing insanely. Vincent had to wonder how old the vibrant Turk was.

**On Circuses.**

"Can we go to the circus Reno?" Elena asked.

"Nope!"  
"Why?" the blonde pouted. Rufus ran by, yelling profanities at a cackling Zack Fair. A mini-explosion rocked the building slightly, as a very angry General's voice reached their ears. Grating laughter came from the floor above in the form of 'Gya-ha-has and Kya-ha-has. "I want to go to the circus!"

"Life is a free circus, all you have to do is pay attention," Reno grinned as Rufus and Zack ran by again.

**On Death**

"Why do we do this," Elena pondered, as the smoke cleared.

"Its our job," Rude pointed out.

"Death is so cruel," Elena sighed, staring at the corpse in front of her. Reno laughed, shaking his head at the blonde's statement. "What's so damn funny?"  
"Despite rumor, death isn't cruel, merely terribly, terribly good at his job," Reno put his gun in the holster, ignoring the dead body that he had just killed. Rude shook his head, long used to Reno spouting words of wisdom. The other two elite Turks never seemed to get used to it though.

**Me: I don't own Reno's phrases. Too those who do, dead or not, I love you! Not like that though XD.**

**Reno: I R smartitude.**

**Me: Please review and I might continue it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Me: I see my fellow (well maybe fellow) Reno fans liked this act of complete randomness. Yes something filled with the wiseness of Reno was, conducted, by randomness. Mah whatever**

_**To Jennie: I always that Reno was a smart drunken little man. Kinda like I-am-smart-but-too-lazy-too-show-it-so-I-don't-get-more-work. You know?**_

**Me: That review is why I keep anonymous reviews on. Though one of my flames on another story was an anonymous reviewer. Oh well XD I never said they were going to be in character! MWAHAHAHAHA!**

**Let the wiseness begin! Oh and I don't own the game, the character, the phrases. I do own Reno's whip cream obsession.**

On Reasoning

"RENO YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD!" Elena stormed down the hallway, humiliation and anger written across her whip cream covered face.

"What did I do?"  
"Don't fuck with me Reno, who else would cover me in whip cream!" the blonde screamed at the poor red head.

"Elena I have been in my office all day, attempting to clear up the mess Rude made of my paperwork!" Reno snapped.

"Don't lie! You don't even know what paperwork IS!" Elena pulled out her gun. Reno's eyes widened and he shot down the hall. Rude looked at him questioningly, and the bald man barely heard his reply.

"Reason is the first victim of strong emotion!"

On madness

Reno was once again listening to his music player. Suddenly the much loved machine was shot to death by a violent banshee in the form of a short and slim blonde. The devil be damned for letting such an evil creature escape Hell. "RENO!"  
"Elena I didn't do it! Just be cause I am in love with my music player doesn't mean I configured yours to play 'I Feel Pretty' every time Tseng walks into the room!"  
"Really? Why should I believe you?" the blonde inquired.

"Because the mountains of madness have many little plateaus of sanity?" Needless to say Elena was shocked by that reasoning and didn't shoot the red head, again.

On laughter

Elena burst out laughing, and the whole ShinRa cafeteria turned and looked at her. The blonde's face was rapidly turning red as she laughed so hard no sound escaped and she started heaving. Rude and Reno watched on.

Shrugging Reno started laughing his ass off aswell. When questioned about it later he simply replied "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot"

On normality

"What's wrong with Rude?" Reno asked, staring at Elena.

"He willingly hangs out with you."  
"Tseng?"  
"Anal."  
"Rufus?"  
"Emotional crippled."  
"Me?"  
"Inane and possibly schizophrenic."

"Name one normal person," Reno demanded. Elena looked around the cafeteria and pointed to a normal looking guy, eating a normal looking lunch, talking to normal looking people. Reno sighed. "The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well."

**Me: I've decided I shall do four per chapter. Else I might run out of phrases really fast. If you wish to contribute give me phrases and be praised!  
Reno: Psycho biatch.**

**Me: Ludicrous miniscule fiend go back to the nonexistent hell from which you spawned!**

**Chibi Reno: Pwease review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Me: A late chappie huh? For those reading Excuses, I am sorry for not updating but I have writer's block. No killing the author yes?  
Reno: Whatever you fruit.**

**Me: Me? A Fruit? -bursts out laughing- You my friend are the fruitiest, skittle loving, rainbow chasing man I know.**

**Reno: O.o**

**Me: OWNED! I own nothing. I thank bushes283 for giving me some phrases, of which at least one is used here. You should know which ones yes?**

On Experience

Reno ducked the moment he heard the gun go off, taking Elena with him. Staying low and darting to the right he drug the blonde with him. Rude was already behind cover, frowning. Bullets whizzed by their hiding spot.

"Reno let go of my arm," Elena hissed, and the red head moved his now bloody hand. A bullet had gotten Elena. Rude raised his hand, showing he had the group's cure materia. "I'm always the one getting hurt. You guys have so much more experience."  
"Reno was constantly landing himself in the infirmary when he started out. Be lucky you get paired with us." Rude stated.

The blonde gazed at Reno. "He hardly ever gets injured, I can't see it happening."  
"Experience is something you get _after_ you need it, Reno replied, quickly shooting one of their enemies.

On Contributions

"Look at the clouds they are so pretty!" Yuffie squealed.

"They won't be so pretty when it rains," Cloud grumbled, glaring at the things. Everyone was hanging around outside Seventh Heaven.

"Leviathan you are such a pessimist! What have you ever contributed to society?"

'You are such an optimist. What have you done besides make Vincent want to shoot small children," the swordsman snapped back. Reno chuckled and the two turned on him.

"Both optimists and pessimist contribute to society. The optimist invents the plane, and the pessimist the parachute." Reno stated, flicking the ashes off his cigarette. Yuffie kept trying to start a fight with Cloud who was now smirking. Reno had proven a point, pessimists were good for something.

On Trouble

"YUFFIE!" Tifa screeched from the kitchen. Yuffie, Reeve, and Reno all flinched while the others ignored it.

"Oh man I am so going to get it," Yuffie moaned, fretting like a worried little ninja.

"What did you do this time?" Reeve pondered.

"I used Cait Sith to blow up Cloud's birthday cake. Mind you he was very grateful, poor Chocobo head hates parties." Yuffie jumped again at Tifa's new shout.

"YUFFIE! REEVE!"

"If you have to face the music, pick a good dance partner," Reno said. Vincent chuckled secretly, quite pleased the red head could find a phrase to match this situation. The red cloaked man had to find out where the Turk was pulling these phrases from though.

On Silence

"Hey Reno does this make me look fat?" Reno looked up and he nearly ran to go burn his eyes out. Elena was wearing a horrid dress, so horrid it made Cait Sith's crown, boots, and cape look better then Rufus's suit. "Reno? Oh hell why did I even ask you, you stupid rainbow chasing yaoi loving fruitloop!" Elena snapped, throwing a stapler at Reno. "Rude does this make me look fat?"

"Rude?"  
"…"

"Come on Rude." This continued for a couple more minutes. "WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME!"

"Silence is often the best thing to say."  
**Me: -bows- The first two bushes283 gave me. I had immediate scenarios in my head when I read them.**

**Reno: you just love insulting my straightness and masculinity don't you?  
Me: Oh yes. I am even going so far as to finally writing a KH high school fanfic. I've been reading so many of them, I'm confident I can pull something semi-decent out my ass. HEY ITS MITHOS YGGDRASIL'S THEME SONG! -sings along with Bodies- One nothing wrong with me. Two nothing wrong with me. Three nothing wrong with me. Four nothing wrong with me. One**

**Mithos: Something's got to give!  
Me: AH! DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY! Hello my rainbow fairy wanna-be psychotic dictator that shouldn't be here do to him bein' in Tales of Symphonia. ANYWAY! While I converse with a really old spandex wearing blonde, I shall say Please Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Me: another chapter, and I still haven't killed my writer's block. Sorry guys!**

**Anonymous Review Replies. LOVE YOU! Lol. **

To Jennie:_ That's my favorite quote to! Get an account lol, I made my account first before I went out and explored the wonders that is fan fiction dot net. It's okay that you don't have any, I shouldn't run out for another 2 or 3 chapters. Glad you like my stories!_

**Me: A chapter for the less wise, but hopefully still funny phrases Reno has.**

**Reno: Jeanne owns nothing, and is in no way associated with Square. And she doesn't own the phrases and will NEVER lay claim to them.**

**Me: -meeps- I shal for eternity type Squaresoft on accident.**

On flamethrowers

_Elena cackled maniacally along side Yuffie as Edge, and the ShinRa building went up in flames. The petite females each had a flamethrower in the hands, fire dancing in their psychotic eyes. Reno yelled in horror as his hair caught on fire, and he frantically tried to put it out. Cloud ran by, flailing like a Chocobo without its head. Rude leaned over Reno, glaring._

Reno flew up, nearly smacking Rude on the forehead. His hands moved over his hair, quite happy it was still there. Rude raised an eyebrow, silently interrogating his long time friend and partner. "The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves 'You know I really want to set those people on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'"

On toilets

Reno whistled merrily as he stepped into the bathroom. Despite the horrid smell it was better then being stuck in the meeting room. Something told the red-head this particular floor had been built with the old meeting room in mind.

A crash from the only stall and a angry Scottish accent drew Reno's attention. Hearing several other voices he popped the door open only slightly. Cait Sith was perched on Reeve's shoulders who was arguing with Yuffie while Yuffie argued with the mechanical cat as well.

"Eek! Don't you know how to knock?" Yuffie squealed looking wildly at Reno.

"Confucius says: Man who stands on toilet is high on pot." Reno quoted. He left hearing Reeve's mortified shouts and Cait Sith and Yuffie's laughter.

On friends

Rude bounced his leg, earning a scowl from the slightly hungover Reno. How the two Turks had wound up in a jail cell was beyond the bald man. Reno probably knew despite the man's hangover. "That was really freakin' fun last night Rude ol' buddy." Reno chuckled humorously.

"Sirs there is a Rufus ShinRa here to bail you out. If you would come this way?" the police officer beckoned them over. Rude was suddenly reminded of one of Reno's favorite phrases. "_Friends bail you out of jail, true friends are sitting next to you saying "Man that was a lot of fun"_ (A/N Gah, that one might be a bit messed up. Sorry!)

On Grandchildren

Tifa sighed as she watched Marlene run from a paint covered Denzel. "What's wrong?" Cloud asked, looking up from the bottle of water in front of him.

"Nothing."  
"Seriously Teef just tell the Chocobo what's frying that noggin of yours!" Yuffie's comment earned a scowl from aforementioned 'Chocobo' and a laugh from Reno.

"I was just thinking how I will never want grandchildren. If I can't deal with kids now, what happens when I'm older?" Tifa pondered out loud. Reno snorted.

"Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children," the Turk told her, gulping down the rest of his drink. Tifa was about to agree when pink acrylic paint splattered all over her shirt. Maybe the bartender really didn't want 'God's reward' now.

**Me: like I said the quotes aren't as serious, but hopefully just as good as the rest! Please review before Reno slaughters me for hair mutilation!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Me: I almost spazzed when I couldn't find my little notepad of phrases I had saved. I forgot I stuck it on my desktop XD Talk about not so easy access!**

**Reno: Moron.**

**Me: Shuddup. Sorry I haven't been updating! I am just a tad lazy. Okay more then a tad. I am the Texas Queen of Procrastinating! MWAHA!**

**Reno: Freak. She owns nothing and shall never claim she does.**

On Cats

"Come here Patches!" Rude called, whistling for his Boxer puppy. The brown and black puppy ran up, waggling its butt happily. Elena frowned, looking around. Rude was happily petting his puppy. Reno had managed to get his tortoiseshell cat Bunny Bunny Kitty to come to him. It was currently curled up on his lap sleeping.

"Has anyone seen The Crackhead?" Elena scowled at what Reno named her cat, unfortunately it stuck.

"Elena you can't get cats when you want them to come to you!" Reno snorted.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because."

"Because?"  
"Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you," Reno ducked under the paperweight Elena chunked at him, chuckling.

On Improbability.

Rufus sighed, staring at his Turks. Each were attempting, and in some cases failing at holding back their laughter. "Now who could have dyed my hair black with red and pink stripes?"

"Elena?" Reno suggested.

"She was looking for her cat," Rufus sighed again. Reno had been giving impossible suggestions for the past minute or so.

"Rude?"  
"Checking to see if he had hair."  
"Tseng?"  
"Spazzing about finding a pencil out of place on his desk."  
"Me?"  
"You were passed out drunk with the ninja poking you."  
"Tifa?"  
"Serving drinks."

"That leaves. Vincent Valentine," Reno stared at Rufus. Rufus stared back wondering how insane Reno was for suggesting that.

"Highly unlikely."  
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth," Reno nodded, and glanced up at the vent in time to see the end of a tattered red cape disappeared. Improbable indeed.

On Solutions

"What can we do?" Tifa slammed her hand down, before wincing and rubbing it. Cloud shook his head in disappointment. What could they do? The city was overrun with fuzzy animals! Cats and dogs and rabbits everywhere!

"Why don't we ask Reeve or Rufus?" Yuffie asked, looking around.

"The government solution to a problem is usually just as bad as the problem," Reno said, shaking his head. Knowing those two Reeve would try and save all the cats and Rufus would send the Turks out to dispose of the animals. And clean up the mess.

On Imagination

"What do you think it is?" Tseng poked the whatever.

"I don't know sir," Elena poked it too.

"I think it's a mutant alien that's come down to take over the world using pancake batter and an ancient race of mushrooms that has slowly evolved into a living being that ambushes travelers for their cheese," Reno announced proudly.

"Reno that's stupid," Elena brushed off her knees and glared at the fiery red head.

"Nope! Just imagi-"  
"Reno we are in a purely scientific field of work. There is no imagining! It's the here and now not whats up THERE!" Elena pointed at his head.

"Tsk tsk Elena," Reno shook his head. "Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality!" Needless to say Reno wished his imagination wasn't so good when he had to visit the hospital with a bullet in his hand.

**Me: Man Elena is violent.**

**Reno: you made her violent.**

**Me: So? I imagine her personality as somewhat like Sheena Fujibayashi from Tales of Symphonia. Not the same. But kinda like it.**

**Reno: Whatever. Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Me: Any of you guys miss me? You can thank **Kuro Fenikkusu **and **Undercover Turk** (my anonymous reviewer) for the quotes. The first three are Fenikkusu's and the last Undercover Turks. I own nothing, and they might not either!**

**Reno: I am so smart!**

On Sanity

Reno hummed, happily swinging his legs back and forth. It would have been a sweet picture if he didn't have a blood covered shirt on and wasn't twirling a blood knife.

"You are insane Reno," Elena shook her head, scooting away from the red headed Turk. He turned towards her and raised an eyebrow.

"I assure you dearest Laney I am quite sane," Reno mock bowed, which was a little hard due to the fact he was seated.

"You could NEVER be sane Reno," Elena snorted, chucking a rock down the road waiting for Rude to arrive. You would think the man was punctual but he hardly ever was. "Seriously Reno you couldn't be sane!"

"To be truly sane you must first experience insanity," Reno stated, pulling out a handkerchief and wiping a bit of blood off his face, looking much like he had been out on a stroll instead of killing people.

On Children

Denzel raced by, swearing with every curse word he knew, shouting about the many ways he would kill Marlene for putting lipstick on him. AVALANCHE and the Turks stared at the kid as he zoomed out the room.

"He has more skill with profanity then Reno," Tseng shook his head, muttering about children now-a-days.

"I don't know where he learned it from," Elena pointedly glared at the red head across from her. Reno's eyes widened in a look of pure innocence.

"Laney I don't cuss 'round the kids! The old fart and the other old fart do. Not to mention you and Yuffie," Reno said.

"There isn't anyway they could have heard us!" Yuffie flailed. "I am too ninja, they would have been spotted."

"Never underestimate the intelligence of children," Reno stated as Marlene and Denzel ran by, Marlene making just as foul retorts as Denzel was making threats.

On Challenges

Tifa's fingers thumped against the counter. Before her was a recipe for a chocolate cake. Sighing she looked at it again, trying to figure out what to do. Reno wandered into the kitchen, looking for something to eat. "Whatcha doin Teef?"

"Trying to figure out how to bake a cake," the barmaid replied, running over the ingredients again. "What in the name of JENOVA's unholy lover is freaking baking soda?" Tifa pounded her fist on the table, glaring at the book. "What am I suppose to do to get this right?" Reno leaned over her and snatched up the book, scanning the ingredients. "Reno?" waving her off Reno promptly got to work.

**An hour or so later**

Reno pulled a perfect chocolate cake out of the oven, grinning happily despite the fact that a pink apron was around his waist. The barmaid was practically salivating over the cake. "How?"  
"When faced with a challenge don't ask 'how can I do this right' but 'how can I not completely screw this up!" Reno announced, setting the cake down with a flourish. Tifa shook her head and happily started decorating it.

On Bad Things

Elena stared glumly at the bars. Being locked in a cell was bad enough, being locked in a cell with Reno. Pure hell. Reno was carving something in the wall that looked suspiciously like Sephiroth charging around a field on a chocobo yelling 'Charge Sky Charge and free thy brethren!' Why he would carve that she hadn't the slightest clue.

"Man this can't get any worse," Elena swore, chunking a piece of loose pebble through the bars.

"Why do you say that?" Reno asked, finishing his little wall doodle and pocketing the knife he somehow still had. Man were their captors bad or _what_?

"Because it can't! I'm stuck in here with you the single most annoying creature on this pla-" she was cut off as the doors to their cell creaked open and in tumbled three people. Or rather two people and a robotic cat. Reeve, Yuffie, and Cait Sith picked themselves off the ground looking around.

"If you think things can't get worse its probably only because you lack the sufficient imagination," Reno growled, stuffing some ear plugs he had produced from his pants pocket into his ears. Elena sighed, staring sadly at the bars.

**Me: Ah, theres a bit of stupidity from me, but do I care? NOPE! I luff my stupidity. Okay not really. I squeal mentally for every review I get, happy someone likes my work!**

**Reno: Not that it takes much thought on your half.**

**Me: Shush! Anyway! Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Me: Oh Leviathan! SPELL CHECK! On a sucky computer. Oh man I miss writing so much! Did anyone miss me even half as much as I missed you guys! I love you guys! Especially the ones who contributed Words of Wisdom. I have none of the ones because my laptop is FRIED! Those of you who contributed this chapters Words I hope you remember who you are cause this chapter is dedicated to y'all!**

**Reno: Spazzy much?**

**Me: Yes yes. Very snazzy. Anyway! I shall give an extra wisdom for having to wait so long!**

**Disclaimer: The fact that Jeanneandheralters needs a disclaimer should say it all.**

On Failure

Marlene shrieked and tossed a crumpled up piece of paper. Reno got smacked in the head having not expected paper projectiles trying to kill him. "Watch it Marls!" Marlene gave her best Vincent glare and Reno nearly squealed. She was so adorable you just wanted to squeeze her!

"I can't draw Aunt Tifa and Cloud!" she whined staring forlornly at the paper in front of her.

"I'm sure you can. C'mon try again and then show Mr. Reno," the red head looked at the drawing on the paper and hid a grimace "T-that's not bad Marlene! Take a look at this," Reno quickly drew his best drawing of Cloud and Tifa.

"Mr. Reno that drawing sucks. It's a failure!"

"Failure is not to fall, but to not get up and try again," Reno grinned and handed her back the pencil. Marlene took it with a smile of her own.

On Fury

"Hey Rude really does this dress make my butt look big?" Elena was once again asking the bald man about her dress. "Rude! Hey Rude, Rude!" Rude's eye twitched but Elena couldn't see, his sunglasses prevented it. Reno was trying to sneak out the room. "Dammit Rude answer my question!"

"'Laney why don't we leave Rude alone," Reno pleaded.

"Reno sit down you have paperwork to do!"

"Elena you're getting on his nerves!"

"No I'm not. He has got the patience of a saint. Seriously does it make me look fat?"

**A short while later.**

Tseng stood next to Reno and raised a questioning eyebrow at the screams that could be heard throughout the building. "Beware the fury of a patient man," Reno stated and took a quick sip of his drink before wandering off.

On Dogs?

Tifa, Cloud, and for some weird reason Reno arrived at the school. Denzel was in the midst of arguing with two boys twice his size.

"Oh no! Cloud we got to stop it!" Tifa was about to run over to the fight when both men grabbed her arms. "What?" Cloud shook his head.

"Tifa let him take care of it," the blonde stated. The group turned back towards the impending fight only to see Denzel knocking one boy out.

"H-how?" Tifa stuttered watching the last boy run.

"Yuffie has a soft spot for Denzel. She's been teaching him," Cloud shrugged.

"It's not the size of a dog in a fight but rather the fight in a dog," Reno walked over to Denzel and handed the boy his lunch. Sighing Tifa followed, dragging Cloud behind her.

On Lateness

Yuffie barged into the bar glaring at Vincent. The man raised an eyebrow in a silent question. "You were late Vincent Valentine! You said you'd be there to help me plunder the innocent materia from the street vendor of evil! But no you were late and I had to do it myself!" Yuffie was still glaring.

Reno started chuckling before he nearly fell over in laughter. "What are you laughing at you red headed Turkey?"

"My dear ninja princess you have it all wrong!" Reno exclaimed.

"I have what all wrong?"

"You can't be late until you show up," Yuffie stormed out while Reno laughed and Vincent mentally chuckled. To the raven haired man nothing beat seeing Reno tell some unsuspecting sap off.

On Experts

"Reno move out of the way," Elena tried to shove Reno out of the computer chair. The red head was clicking away on the computer scowling. "Reno you are no computer expert. The only thing you can do that's remotely technological is fly a helicopter!"

"What?" Reno snorted and continued his pursuit of fixing the computer.

"Reno I'm the computer expert so move!" the blonde tried to shove him out of the chair again. Reno let out an excited exclamation as the screen cleared. It looked exactly how it was suppose to. No sign of the virus anywhere. "What the heck! How did you do that? I'm the computer expert!"

"An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing," Reno spun out of the chair and walked away sucking on a lollipop.

**Me: I hope it wasn't to terrible. Thanks for reading and I hope you review! It would be awesome but ya know ya don't have to and all that.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Me: Thanks as always for those who contributed to this. I'm going to need more Words of Wisdom though because sooner or later I'm going to run out of the awesome ones you guys have contributed!**

**Reno: Fast update?**

**Me: Compared to how I've been doing recently? Yes, yes it is. Now for my ever so witty disclaimer. The fact that I NEED a disclaimer says it all.**

On Solutions

Reno drummed his fingers on the desk, glaring hard at the screen. Whoever invented Halo was an evil mastermind determined to undermine a Turk's thinking ability. Several players stood on the ground below him., impossible to kill without revealing himself and being killed instantly.

_PoV switch_

Elena grumbled and waited for Reno to reveal himself. What she didn't except was for a vehicle to crash down on the. Rude and Tseng were killed in the initial hit. Rufus followed when the driver ran back into him. The blonde gulped and tried to escape the vehicle but it was inevitable. Reno had beat them once again despite the odds.

"How the hell did you do that Reno?" Elena screeched into the mic. Reno's chuckle filled her ears as the man replied.

"When faced with impossible odds, try an impossible solution." Elena cursed and slammed down on the keyboard. Unfortunately for her she just committed suicide via grenade.

On Idiots

Tifa grinned happily and stared at the plans for the party. "Its idiot-proof! No one could screw this up!" she cheered happily and passed a copy around. AVALANCHE and the Turks nodded and immediately started preparing. After all Cloud's birthday party needed to go off without a hitch.

Yuffie screeched as she tumbled off the ladder, pulling the banner with her while accidentally ripping it in half. "Its okay Yuffie I can make another one. Go help Rude blow up the balloons," Tifa smiled and shooed Yuffie away.

BAM! Everyone jumped for the twentieth time as Yuffie once again popped a balloon on accident. Out of the forty balloons Tifa had bought only five ten remained unpopped. BAM! Tifa mentally marked it at nine. "Yuffie why don't you go help Cid?"

The ninja happily stacked the cases of beers till she caught sight of an advertisement for materia on one of the cases. Grinning she pulled and every case toppled over with the majority of the bottles breaking. "Guess I shouldn't have taken it from the bottom," she announced a bit sheepishly before ripping the advertisement from the box.

"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot," Reno announced from the only safe area in the whole bar. The cake sat on the table surrounded by perfectly placed utensils, plates, and napkins.

On Occupations

Denzel stared at his teacher. "What?"

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" the teacher repeated. Denzel just glared. "What?"

"I'm not gonna answer you! You can't have my ideas!" the brunette replied and crossed his arms in defiance.

"Why would I be stealing your idea Denzel?" the lady asked, curious as to why Denzel was suddenly refusing to answer such a simple (in a child's eyes) question.

"Reno said you would!" Denzel replied.

"What did this Reno say exactly?" the blonde teacher was really curious now that the kid had mentioned probably the most well-known Turk.

Marlene slid up. "Mr. Reno said, and I quote 'Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas' and I end the quote. Mr. Reno taught me the quote thing too!" The teacher smacked her face with her palm.

**Me: I'll be darned. I'm one short. There are still a few good ones but… I'm just not feeling them right now. You know what that means right? Jeanne needs more Words of Wisdom! After all I do NOT like falling short of my four words per chapter thing. Please review with a little wisdom?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Me: You can thank F-35 Phoenix for this. This very awesome (in my opinion now) review contributed several good Words of Wisdom in a review. Not to say the other ones that have been contributed weren't good but I found these entertaining. The first two are from aforementioned person. Actually I just realized that F-35 Phoenix has contributed quite a few! Chapter is dedicated to you Phoenix!**

**Reno: You find nail polish entertaining.**

**Me: And YOU like bananas Reno. The fact that I need a disclaimer says it all.**

On Pitching

Rude blocked the punch Denzel threw at him. Their little training session had drawn a crowd. Scowling Denzel threw another punch.

"Come on Denzel show him what I taught you!" Yuffie cheered, leaping about.

"He's way out of his league Brat," Cid exhaled.

"Ew gross you old fart! Get those cigarettes away from me! I'm going to get sick now you creepy old man," Yuffie whined covering her nose. Denzel continued throwing punches while Rude blocked them. What Rude didn't see coming was the foot kicking him below the belt. The man hadn't thought Denzel would actually _use_ what Yuffie taught him.

Reno turned to Cid with a smirk, "When your out of your league, pitch underhand."

On Faith

The blonde Turk hid behind the overturned table. Elena was beckoning frantically for Tseng to join them. Their leader was hiding behind a barrel. The brief lull in gunfire lead Tseng to dart across. Halfway there he collapsed.

"Sir!" Elena covered her mouth in horror as Reno and Rude rushed over. The fact that bullets weren't flying signified that the duo had actually managed to take care of their enemies. They'd been thoroughly outnumbered and Elena had lost all hope till then. Reno flipped Tseng over. "Oh no, oh no! Is he alright?" In reply Reno smacked Tseng on the chest right were the bullet hole was. "RENO!"

"Son of a bitch!" Tseng yelled, shooting up and glaring at Reno. The man continued cursing the red-head out.

"Wha? How?" Elena stammered, staring at her boss like he was Sephiroth resurrected.

"Faith will protect you when all hope is lost. Kevlar helps," Reno quipped, passing a potion to Tseng.

On Confusion

"Please Reno?" Yuffie pleaded with a pout. The red head shook his head and glared at her. "Why not?" Reno remained silent. "Reno! Please?"

"Yeah Reno why won't you help?" Elena stomped, returning the other Turk's glare. Reno managed to remain silent for the past twenty minutes while the two pleaded with him. He hadn't been able to convince them to leave him be so he was just waiting for the perfect opportunity.

"Please take us to the store Reno," Yuffie pleaded. Elena promptly pouted, attempting to look like some cute innocent little girl. "Pwea-"

"Please don't eat me! I don't taste good! I taste like bananas! NOO!" Reno screeched running off. The two looked at each other in confusion.

**Down the hall**

Rude raised an eyebrow in a silent question. Reno downed the shot his partner had handed him. "If you cannot convince them, confuse them," Reno answered.

On Backgrounds

Elena twitched as a new song came on. Reno was once again blaring music. This time it just happened to be 'Bad Boy' by Cascada. She hated that song with all the passion of a thousand and one suns. "Reno turned off that crappy music!"

"What music?" Reno asked innocently.

"The music your playing right now you red headed rat!"

"Oh you mean my background music?" Reno cocked his head to the side, still looking innocent.

"This is reality Reno," Elena stood up, snarling. Reno slammed his hands down on his desk and stood up aswell.

"You know what the _real _trouble with reality is?" he demanded. Elena nearly cowered from the fury radiating from her friend.

"What?" she asked in an equally demanding tone.

"The real trouble with reality is there's no background music!" Reno plopped into his seat, anger gone. Shaking her head Elena decided to ignore the music for the time being. After all Reno might not be opposed to bashing her brains in if he got annoyed enough.

**Me:-bows-I hope y'all enjoyed it. Remember guys if you have Words of Wisdom I need them! Review if you'd like to!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Me: -twirls-Well my readers I hope you're ready for another fun filled chapter of Words of Wisdom! At least I HOPE they are fun-filled. I never know with you guys. Seriously though I don't. Thank you to all who contributed the Words of Wisdom for this chapter! Keep 'em coming I love it when you contribute!**

**Disclaimer says it all. That means Jeanneandheralters owns **_**nothing**_

**Oh and I know that's not what number three truly meant but I'm going out of my way to avoid pairings if I can.**

On Mandatory

Reno slid up to the bar with a sigh. Cid was sitting next to him, Vincent on the other side. "Got yer panties in a knot Turk-boy?" Cid growled, looking at him.

"Cid I doubt you're helping with whatever it is," Vincent murmured, throwing a wary look in Reno's direction. The red head was slumped against the bar, beer held in his hand mournfully.

"Just tell us yer god-damn problem so you can leave us alone," Cid snapped, taking a drag of his cigarette. The blond ignored Tifa's glare.

"The boss-man passed a mission to one of the newbies. Said I was getting to old to go out for every mission," Reno whined. "It's not like I'm out of shape or something!"

"Growin' old ain't optional kid," Cid replied, blowing smoke in Tifa's face when she came over to lecture him. The barmaid shook her head and walked away with a small smile.

"Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional," Reno smirked. Vincent and Cid shook their heads as the red head waltzed off with a bounce in his step to flirt with a random chick. The red head certainly wasn't going to grow up anytime soon, even if he was getting older.

On Happiness

Tifa looked sadly at the bar door. It wasn't much longer till midnight and Cloud still wasn't home. "Hello Tifa," Elena smiled as she sat next to her colleagues. Reno and Rude were in a drinking contest with a drunken Tseng judging. "What's wrong?"

"Cloud should be home by now," Tifa said, shrugging and asked Elena what she wanted with a smile. Elena opened her mouth angrily only for the bar owner to shake her head. "Don't Elena. He's only looking for happiness." Elena snorted and glared at Tifa.

"I'm going to tell you what Reno told me once when one of my boyfriends was always running off to look for happiness. Least that's what he said he was doing," Elena paused for a moment before shaking her head. "Anyway you want to know what he told me?" Tifa nodded, Reno sometimes had very good advice. "He told me and I quote 'Men spend their lives going far and wide looking for happiness. What they don't realize is she is at home waiting for them to return." With the perfect timing the red head always had, he passed out right as Elena finished.

Tifa smiled and helped readjust Reno's position. She looked up just in time to see Cloud walk through the door.

On the Meaning of Life

Elena was lounging outside, Reno next to her and quiet for once. Of course the silence never lasted long when the two were hanging out. "Hey Reno?" the red head 'hmm'ed in response. "What's the meaning of life?" He turned to her with a questioning look. "Well you seem to know every _other_ mystery so why not this one?"

Reno leaned back to contemplate the question. He spotted Tseng and Rufus a short distance away, sitting on a bench and conversing quietly over something. If he could recall right it was the plan to deal with some gang. Straining his eyes, he easily read their lips.

"Are you sure Tseng? It doesn't seem you've even thought about this course of action," Rufus asked, a look of slight concern on his face. Tseng shook his head and rested his hand on Rufus's shoulder in a brotherly manner.

"If you think it's a good idea we'll go with it. Besides if there is a flaw in it I'm sure Reno will poke the holes in it the moment he sees it," the Wutaian said. Rufus nodded, and went back to working on it. Reno could remember a few weeks ago when Rufus just ok'ed one of Tseng's plans without even hearing it on the grounds of 'If he thinks you should then you should'.

"Reno?" Elena called, waving a hand in his face and cutting of the red head's view of the two.

"The meaning of life is no big mystery; It's always knowing that you'll have someone you love and trust by your side, and knowing that they love and trust you back," Reno said. _Even if its brotherly love, _he chuckled mentally at this thought, and continued watching his two bosses.

On Ignoring

Yuffie drummed her fingers against the table sadly. Varying friends sat around her, trying to figure out how to cheer her up or get her mind off of it. She'd finally told Vincent how she felt and he had just walked off. "Come on Yuffs its not that god damn bad! it's the vampire for-" Tifa slapped a hand over Cid's mouth.

"I'm sure you just dreamt it Yuffie," Cloud muttered.

"Cloud's right Yuffie! Vincent wouldn't do that. He'd at least give you an answer," Tifa consoled. Yuffie nodded, hiccupping slightly.

"Yeah! I'm sure th-that's all it was. A dream! Thanks guys," Yuffie smiled brilliantly, and from his spot a few tables away Reno shook his head. Yuffie bounced out of Seventh Heaven, though to anyone who looked the usual bounce in her step was gone.

"What's with that annoyed look Reno? She said it was dream," Elena asked. Reno took a sip of his beer.

"'People are remarkably good at ignoring what they don't want to be true," Reno muttered, spotting Yuffie walking by the window nearest him unhappily. Her friend's were all smiles now, not realizing the little ninja was still down about the 'dream rejection'. _Then again maybe it was a dream,_ Reno shrugged and finished off the beer.

**Me: Well here is another chapter! You can still think that lovely review of mine for these Words, all four of them. Please review?**


	11. Chapter 11

**Me: Hello everyone! Oh I'm so excited I gathered a few new little minions!  
Reno: O.O  
Me: I'm kidding yo. I do not think my reviewers are minions… you're my wonderful little muses (especially the ones with the phrases) and it makes me feel all special getting reviews! ANYWAY! Sorry for the long wait, school started last Monday so until I get my laptop fixed I won't be back to my daily updates.**

**Disclaimer: The fact that I'm needed says it all. Nor is the apparent OCs owned… Namco owns them cause Tales of Symphonia owns.**

On Smiling

Reeve scowled at his hand. He'd been losing all night and at this rate he wouldn't make it out of Seventh Heaven with a sock. "What's wrong Reevey?" Yuffie taunted, the ninja still fully dressed. Reeve's eye twitched.

"Don't blame the brat for being a good cheat," Reno piped up, glancing towards the kitchen when he heard muffled curses. He smirked slightly realizing who it was.

"You cheat too you stupid Turkey!" Yuffie huffed glaring at the only other fully dressed person at the table.

"How would you know? Maybe I'm just incredibly good at poker," Reno grinned as the majority of the people folded. Yuffie groaned when she realized only the redhead and her where still in. She yanked off her boots in defeat, glaring at the Turk.

Cloud slid in next to Reno, looking slightly nervous. Everyone was to preoccupied with their lost articles of clothing to realize it though. A small mini-explosion was heard from the kitchen and everyone looked at each other in horror when Tifa's yells came closer.

"Why the hell are you smiling," Elena hissed looking at the kitchen door and waiting for their doom to emerge.

"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on," Reno stated, smirking at Cloud. The blonde paled considerably when everyone else started smiling at him.

On Generations

Reno, Yuffie, and Vincent strolled down the street, the youngest two bickering. "Whip cream is not the godliest substance you stupid Turkey! Its blasphemy! Chocolate is so much better," Yuffie snapped, walking backwards in front of the Turk.

"I beg to differ, whip cream is definitely much better!" Vincent groaned. The duo had been at it for the past hour and they were getting stared at because of it.

"Will you two be quiet? You sound just like the rest of the people your age," Vincent snapped a bit uncharacteristically. His two companions stopped to stare as the ex-Turk walked down the street, silently fuming.

"What's Vinnie's problem?" Yuffie asked, blinking in shock. "Did he just-?"

"Those who criticize our generation often forget who raised it," Reno mused. Yuffie raised an eyebrow in question. "Whip cream is still better," Reno mocked, racing down the street as a very mad Wutai princess chased after him.

On Working

All four Turks were seated around a table in Seventh Heaven. They had several maps and blueprints scattered about. Writing utensils and long debated plans were in just as much abundance. "Reno that is the stupidest plan yet!" Elena snapped, glaring at her redheaded superior.

"It could work," Rude stated, tapping the sheet Reno had scribbled the plan out on.

"Its stupid though!" Elena waved her hands around indignantly. Tseng rubbed his temples in frustration. They'd been trying to come up with the right plan for the past three hours and the one plan that could work was being rejected by the one who had to do it.

"It's the only plan tha-" Tseng stared in shock as Elena interrupted him.

"Its too stupid sir!" Elena snapped, fuming. Reno toppled out of his chair when the blonde chucked her bottle at him. "I refuse to doing something as idiotic as this! Its..its…"  
Reno pulled himself back into his chair, rubbing his now red forehead. "Its not idiotic, stupid, inane, or whatever other synonyms for stupid you can think of Laney."

"What?!" Elena yelled, preparing to throw another bottle at him.

"If its stupid but works, then it isn't stupid," Reno stated, scrambling onto Rude's shoulders as another bottle flew at him. Needless to say Elena wasn't very happy at having to infiltrate an office in a moogle suit.

On Questions

Reno was once again listening to his music player. Of course he had to get a new one after Elena destroyed the last one but this one had all the same songs and more! Apparently filling out the claim as 'destruction via Turk gone crazy' allowed you to get an even better one.

The door creaked open just as Gay Boyfriend finished, and Reno looked up from his time consuming game of Solitaire. One of the newer Turks stood there, shifting nervously. Reno struggled to remember the girl's name. _Charlotte…Charis…Carla…Catherine…_"What is it Colette?" he asked the blonde girl.

"Oh..um…nothing. Sorry Mr. Reno I didn't mean to bother you," she mumbled, turning and consequently tripping over her own feet. "Sorry! I didn't hurt anything did I?" She clasped her hands in worry and looked around the office nervously.

Reno blinked in surprise at the question. "Uh… no?" Colette attempted to exit but Reno called her back, frustrated the girl had pranced in and not asked what she had wanted too. "Tell me what you were going to ask."

"Its not very important I was just wondering. I'm sorry," she said, hands still clasped in front of her.

"Ask a question and you're a fool for three minutes; do not ask a question and you're a fool for the rest of your life," Reno said, wanting to get back to his precious game. Just then another Turk popped in and looked straight at the blonde. Colette brightened as the kid announced that they were partners and skipped out after him. "What in the name of Hojo's unholy lover?"

**Me: Well ignoring my odd little crossover moment we have come to the end of a new chapter of Words of Wisdom. I hope you guys enjoyed it even if I didn't like the last one very much. Oh phoo… Please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Me: OH MY GOSH EVERYONE! Okay its really hard to update (I have to work right off the site on documents I'd already had uploaded) so I'm really really sorry its taken me forever! I feel right bad and I'll be surprised if you guys are still here! Oh... I am so sorry! I've missed y'all! If I repeat any words of wisdom I'm sorry... again. And these probably suck... really bad. I have to get back into the swing of things.  
**

**Disclaimer: If I'm here that means she owns nothing.  
**

On Hard Work

Tseng wandered through the offices, though if anyone asked he was merely searching for the elusive dounut bandit. Of course no one would dare ask Tseng, Leader of the Turks, why the hell he was ambling along on like a chocobo on greens.

Popping his head into his second in command's office, Tseng's relatively good mood vanished. The red head was humming happily as he played Solitaire of all things. Who get's their kicks from a card game now days? "Reno don't you have work to do?"

"I've been working all day boss! Writing papers is so difficult..." Reno waved his hand idly, cheering when he managed to get an ace.

"That is not hard work," the raven haired man could already feel that near-constant headache of his creeping back up on him. Now he knew the source of all evil (or at least his troubles). Reno. "If you want hard work I can send you out to Icicle Inn now and let you dig with your bare hands. I've heard Rufus lost Mr. Snuffles his moogle around a den of wolves."

Reno paled, his headphones falling out of his ears. "Hard work never killed anyone, but why give it a chance?" Tseng growled, stalking out of the room after witnessing the lazy man push pen to paper. A rare and headache curing sight indeed.

On Name Calling

"Dude it's like a freaking moogle man," a finger poked a large red ball. "Y'know like my collection right?" The person's companion stayed silent, choosing to incline his shaven head in acknowledgment. "Ya of course you know. You're the one who donated all the little wooden figurines," the red head's arms were being waved everywhere, attracting the attention of every employee in the cafeteria.

On the Turk's plate was big red blob of what might-have-once-been jello. It wobbled feebly as the red-head prodded it again. "Or it could seriously be like the missing link, I heard about them buddy. Some sci-fi-geek-nerd-person was telling me about the theory of people really evolving from robots curse with flesh. Totally creepy," Elena plopped down next to Rude, staring at Reno like he'd grown another head.

"Did you get ahold of the teenage girl chat rooms again? If I hear you say totally one more time," the blonde's threat was cut off when the mutant-red-jello-robot-turned-blob thing was launched at her head. Screeching the blond ducked down, wincing when it smacked into Reeve.

"That was cooler than blowing up a Midgar Zolom!" Reno cheered.

"You really do set out to be weird don't you?" Elena questioned, attempting to compose herself.

"I never set out to be weird, its always other people who call me that," Reno grinned, stuffing garlic bread into his mouth. Grunting in disgust Elena went to go console the rather confused Reeve, leaving Reno to attract as much attention as a singing red-head with a mouth full of garlic and a large bald guy possibly could.

On Killing

"HEY RENO!" Yuffie pounced the red head, knocking him to the ground. Something fell out of his pocket, sliding along the hardwood floor and under the bar.

Shoving the ninja princess off of him Reno quickly noticed the missing weight. Slapping his hands all over his person he searched frantically. If one of the kids, or Minerva forbid, Tifa found the missing item before him there would be hell to pay. More specifically he'd be walking around funny for a few days and not because he accidentally set on Rufus's stuffed cactaur.

"Mr. Reno what are you looking for?" Marlene looked up innocently at the panicking red head. To complete the rather innocent looking image she had a lollipop in her hands and was sucking on it (believe it or not) innocently. Denzel popped out from under the bar, missing object in hand.

Brown eyes widened and a devilish grin spread across the deceivingly cute little girl. "Ooh! Mr. Reno's in TROUBLE!" with that final screech the little girl ran off. Her scream had effectively drawn the bar's attention to Reno, and by extension, the gun in Denzel's hand.

The barmaid blew up, yelling about how guns were more dangerous than any other weapon on the planet, of course it was partially true. Even Tseng hiding in the corner nursing a bottle of alcohol knew this. Not that any Turk would ever admit it.

"What do you have to say in your defense?" a knife was waved under his nose. Reno took a brief moment to wonder where the rather pointy, potentially dangerous to Reno Junior and his two buddies, knife had come from.

"Guns don't kill people. Bullets flying really really fast kill people," the red hand managed to squeak before running for his life. Somehow he knew the woman would mysteriously remember the rather large tab he'd acquired over the years.

On Teaching

"Shut up!" Reno, along with the few people he was accompanying winced. The teacher was obviously not pleased with the way her class was behaving. "Mr. Strife sit down! MS. ANGELICA SIT IN YOUR CHAIR AND BE QUIET!" more wincing inssued.

Quiet murmmurs from the class announced the childrens' displeasure at being screamed at by some raving lunatic of a teacher. "I don't care if your mommy's boss could blast me through the wall with an Ultima spell Ms. Faye," a raven haired girl glared at the teacher, the keychains jingling quietly as her fists shook in anger. "Ms. Wallace stop talking!" Marlene froze, wondering what she'd done.

"This a little harsh isn't it?" Elena muttered in Tifa's ear. "This is ridiculous!" this announcement was spoken louder than her last complaint. "These kids aren't doing anything!"

"Ma'am I ask you to zip your mouth now. its you people that raise these kids to be such heathens!" the teacher snapped. Reno whistled innocently, toying with his music player. "STOP THAT!" The red head stopped, looking wide-eyed at the teacher.

"With all honesty its not our fault-"

"Yes it is!" Mrs. Pierson protested, like such childish mannerisms would hold up against the Turk's second in command.

"Children: You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Than you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and be quiet," somehow this managed to shut the woman up. Needless to say she'd probably be fired within a week with all the complaints parents would be lodging. Clinically insane women should not be teaching math.

**Me; Dear Minerva this is about as funny as sticking a squirrel in a meat blender... its not funny. Its disgustingly disgusting with a side of furry animal meat...  
Reno:O_O  
Me: That really... I'm shutting up now. Please review this crappy chappie?**


	13. Chapter 13

**I swear the only person I'm ever going to praise for the continuation of this story is F-35 Phoenix. Everytime I need inspiration for this I just have to click the reviews and find the review with their name on it! Ask my beta, she'd tell you! It's serious in the first one. It is! It really is!**

**Disclaimer: The only reason I exist is because Jeanne doesn't own a thing.**

**Oh! Sorry that there is only three this time around, I couldn't find another one!**

On the Afterlife

Blood splattered on the ground, a soft soothing dripping sound filled Elena's ears. She watched each droplet fall to the ground, a symphony of red rain. It was finally the end, a day she had thought would never come. "RENO!" she flung herself forward, uncaring as to what their enemies or even allies might think of this. Reno had just been shot and unlike every time before, he wasn't moving afterwards.

**The Hospital**

Their arrival wasn't unexpected, the staff was always ready to treat Turk wounds. What was unexpected was the unmoving red-head in Rude's arms. One female scurried forward, peered at Reno before ordering a room set up. '_Why? He's already dead isn't he?'_ Elena's thoughts finally conjured something understandable, unfortunately it wasn't a comforting question.

"This way," the attendant lead Rude, and consequently the others, through the hospital. A glare kicked out Tseng and Elena though the blonde couldn't figure out why Rude was allowed to stay. Some unspoken rule?

Not too much later a doctor waved them in, looking as fresh as when he'd first began healing Reno. "His heart stopped," he said. "Thankfully it started right back up, the bullet barely missed anything vital. Once again he was extremely lucky. The Turk rule book saved him yet again," the doctor held up a bloody tattered book, a bullet hole going straight through it.

A coughing sound announced Reno's arrival to the waking world, and upon catching Elena's questioning look he merely grinned and said. "Heaven wouldn't take me and Hell was afraid I'd take over 'Laney."

On Curses

Rude sighed, eye twitching. "What are we going to do today… Brain," how he allowed himself to get dragged into Reno's antics he hadn't a clue. It probably happened much the same way Kisaragi dragged Valentine into her schemes.

"What we try and do everyday Pinky! Try and curse Elena!" Reno spun around and struck a thinking pose. The blonde who was sitting not even ten feet from them sighed and stood up.

Reeve, in revenge for the blob incident the other week, tossed a cookie at her head. Only to realize he was now short a cookie and there was a very hyperactive ninja princess eating his last one. Why did no one question how she got in?

"Reno," Elena quickly acquired the Turk's attention by throwing cookie crumbs in his hair.

"Yes Laney?" Reno asked, eyebrow raised, while brushing crumbs out of his 'immaculate' hair.

"Just curse me already," Elena growled, glaring at him. Reno, of course, jumped on the opportunity. Soon there was a little frog Elena croaking up at them with a deep-seated hatred in its eyes.

"Oh its so cute ain't it Rude!" Reno scooped the frog up and tossed it to his partner. "Y'know what though Rude? Humans are the only living beings who would willingly accept a curse."

On Midgets

Tseng was calmly eating a biscuit and sipping his coffee, something he never got to do, and wondering just when his peace would be shattered. With Reno around it never took long but today appeared to be an exception. A lovely exception, but one that made the Turk leader suspicious all the same. After all he wasn't still alive after all these years because he had let Reno run amok and do as he please.

Exiting his office, he quickly located Reno's charred battered office door and slowly pushed it open. He wanted ample warning if something were to come flying at his head. Unsurprisingly the team's room, as Tseng had long since placed Rude with Reno to keep some semblance of normality, was completely empty. Unless you counted the scattered paperwork and occasional animal running around.

"Elena," he stopped the blonde. "Where is Reno?"

"It's always about Reno isn't it?" Elena huffed, glaring at him a bit. "I don't know where he is, ask Reeve. That man knows everything!" The blonde stormed down the hallway, obviously ticked about one thing or another. Reno'd most likely done something yet again.

Tseng located Reeve in the Turk lounge stealing their coffee. It was a common occurrence and no one minded in the least. "Reeve," the raven haired executive nearly jumped out of his skin. Tseng didn't think the man ever realized they knew about his coffee plundering. "Good coffee this morning? Anyway, have you seen Reno?"

"Floor twenty," Reeve replied, eyes darting around the kitchenette.

"Sugar's been moved to the cabinet by the microwave," Tseng told him, leaving Reeve to do as he pleased.

**Upon arriving at Floor Twenty**

The Turk leader stopped to stare at the red splatter on the wall. Was that blood? "Reno is definitely here," Tseng followed the trail of destruction. Destroyed doors, paperwork scattered to the wind, and an unconscious employee here or there. Definitely Reno's work.

Tseng didn't realize he'd gone past the last bit of ruin. Which meant the spot he was in was next in line. The Turk leader found himself knocked to the side, Reno running by him. The fact that Reno shoved him was probably good, it saved him from being trampled on by tiny people. "Tseng whatever you do don't piss off a midget!" Apparently Reno didn't care to take his own advice.

**END!**

**Once again sorry about there only being three things! Please review with some words of wisdom! I really need them!**


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